Songs have a way of speaking to my heart. I am talking the goosebumps on the neck, heart beating fast, tears welling up type of speaking.
The song “Know Who You Are” from Moana speaks loud. You can watch it HERE. It is near the end of the movie and begins with Moana about to face the “villain”: Te Ka, an enormous lava monster. Moana says, “Let her come to me.” The waves part and here comes Te Ka, glowing with a red, hot anger. The monster starts to crawl towards Moana showing a terrifying mouth and furious eyes. Moana looks so small, and in her tiny, sweet voice she starts to sing:
“I have crossed the horizon to find you
I know your name
They have stolen the heart from inside you
But this does not define you
This is not who you are
You know who you are.”
By the end of the song Te Ka has slowed, and then stopped, right in front of Moana. Her hardened lava face is staring right into Moana’s eyes.
And then Moana says, “Who you truly are.” And Te Ka remembers.
She isn’t a monster. No, somewhere along the way she had turned herself into that, but that isn’t her. Her purpose and heart had once been very different, giving life and love to all who lived on her islands. She had given and given and given, but in the end her heart had been taken from her. She transformed in to Te Ka to protect herself, to let her believed injustice be known with anger.
After years and years of anger, all it took was one small child to remind her who she truly was…Te Feti, a Goddess of her home.
I start the days and many weeks off as Te Feti, giving and giving and giving. But then I, too, can feel like my heart has been stolen. Without my heart, I quickly transform. I change myself from a woman centered on love into someone so distracted by her own frustrations that I cannot see what is right in front of me. Anger filling me, I am wild and searching. Who will give it back to me? Who will find my heart and wrap it up neatly with a thank you note for all my hard work? I deserve that.
But I don’t like the way I feel when I am Te Ka. With her, all I see and hear is fire.
I have been wanting to find a way to get back to Te Feti when my heart goes missing, so I begin my days with a little prayer. I say, “May I remember my boys give to me, they don’t take from me.”
This prayer has created a reminder for me to see my boys for what they are. Now, when my heart feels stolen from so much giving, and I am crawling fiery red towards my boys as Te Ka, ready to fight for what’s rightfully mine, I hear a small whisper, “This does not define you. This is not who you are. You know who you are.” Suddenly, I can see. The fire has cleared, and there they stand. Two boys, just small children, holding my heart, ready to give it to me. And even in this moment they say, with love in their eyes, “Let her come to me.” That is what all this giving has gotten me: two boys who will stand face to face with me when I forget who I am. My anger does not give me power. Remembering who I am does. They know who I am. Te Ka will not define me. They know my name, who I truly am. Without the fire I can hear them perfectly, “Mommy…”
In the end, they had never taken my heart from me. No, in the end they were giving it to me.
And in the end, all it took was me looking right into the eyes of two small children to remember. I remember who I am and who I love.
It’s this love that can remind you who you truly are. To shop this painting click HERE use code WHOYOUARE to get 10% off.